The other day I saw a post in a farm wife group I’m in on Facebook, that shattered my heart. A tired wife was looking for wisdom and hope that these hard seasons get better. That we get to spend quality time with our husbands again or have a conversation that doesn’t pertain to bills or children. The comments were filled with other wives who sounded just as hopeless and defeated. They sounded so close to the end of their rope, and it crushed me. Mostly because I was there not too long ago; right there with them.

I wanted to scoop each of them up in a hug, take them out for a coffee, and promise them that it can be better. It can be so much better.

So to the tired farm wife: I see you and I know what you’re feeling. I know that often times you doubt if this life is worth the heartache and loneliness. You wonder if your marriage can survive the lack of sleep, quality time, and hardships. You pour your entire self into your family, leaving you empty and drained. I see you constantly sacrificing yourself and wondering if anyone notices or appreciates that. You feel alone in this fight and your soul is weary. You question whether it can ever get better, or if you are stuck like this forever.

Let me tell you, it can.

Not long into our marriage I quickly learned that this life wasn’t a joke. I learned that the hours stay long, the markets unpredictable, the droughts fierce, and the stresses high. How is someone supposed to live like that? I began to hate the farm and felt like I was even starting to hate my husband. Tensions got higher and higher, and we snapped at the littlest of things.

So how did I go from that hopeless, angry wife, to the one giving the encouragement?

Jesus.

In all my anger, I had been ignoring God for the most part, and there was absolutely no foundation of God in our marriage. So when I felt like hope was lost, and I had nowhere to turn, I ran as fast as I could back into the arms of Jesus. I got my faith back on track and slowly but surely we made God the foundation of our marriage and our family.

Having a strong faith didn’t get rid of our problems, but it gave us the strength to get through it together. It brought us closer than we had ever been, and it helped us remember that we’re on the same team. We’ve learned to build each other up, instead of tearing each other down.

It’s so easy to let the stress and exhaustion get the best of us. We are nowhere near perfect, but we try to remember it’s not personal. There is 100 times the amount of stress now, then we had back in then. That helps us to remember that it’s not the stresses that can define us, but it’s the choices that we make in those moments. We will always fail and fall short, but it’s so important to find grace for each other, just as our heavenly Father pours out his grace on us.

Following Jesus doesn’t mean this life is going to be easy, or fix all of our problems and relationships. But it gives a foundation of hope, and a truth that we aren’t in this alone. Dear friend, you don’t have to do this alone. Cling to the truth that you are a child of the King and lean on him for your strength and comfort. There is a great release that comes when we realize we don’t have to do it all and be everything to everyone. We are enough.

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