Last night I drove through the flashing yellow stoplight in our one horse town, and I cried.
It had been an exhausting day. Between a cranky baby, a normal 3-year-old, the tensions of harvest, and feeling like nothing was getting accomplished; I was just done with the day. We had just left the field and had a twenty-minute drive ahead of us. The baby was screaming, the toddler was asking question number 34,274 for the day, and I had a pounding headache. I admittedly turned up the radio a little bit trying to drown out the crying (mine and Porter’s) and thought Grady would listen to the music and hopefully fall asleep. In the chaos of the moment I was so overwhelmed and defeated I just wanted to crawl in bed and sleep for a couple of days.
Then a little voice from the backseat said “Hey mommy, I love God and Jesus SOO much!” I lost it. Everything else kind of melted away and I realized that those little things that I think I am failing at don’t matter. My family doesn’t care if God forbid I haven’t emptied the dishwasher yet or finished that growing to-do list. They love me as I am and I don’t have to be perfect for them.
I have one goal in this life. Well, one goal that really matters. Make sure my babies know Jesus. Last night when Grady said that out of nowhere, I knew that I was doing okay. No, I will never be the mom I dream of that does daily crafts, has a perfect house, or bakes those awesome pinterest cupcakes, but I am a mom that takes time to instill the love of Jesus into my children. If nothing else gets done, then I can be okay with that because in the end I would much rather them remember the bible stories we shared while playing tractors on the floor than if the kitchen floor was always mopped.
Completely unrelated: You can cram four people into a combine! If we want to see Jake very much then we load up the crew and ride with him. I love it. Talk about bonding time!