“Just a farm wife.”

I have always looked at my role as a farm wife in a positive way. I love that I get to carry that title and I wear it proudly. I fully admit that it took me awhile to adjust to this life and I still am learning to make sacrifices and roll with the punches. It’s no walk in the park and anyone who thinks it is doesn’t know what it really entails. I have been on all sides of this life.

I grew up in a rural farming community, but I didn’t know much about farming or the lifestyle. Actually, when I married my husband I really thought it was going to be smooth sailing. I in no way whatsoever married my husband for money, but our first year together we were cutting 60 bushel wheat, and that was when wheat was pushing nine dollars a bushel. I just didn’t have the knowledge to know that’ s not how it always worked. I had no idea the struggles, stress, and challenges that they had to face on a daily basis. I’m partially glad that I went in blind, because I think it has helped me to better see all perspectives.

I also have been a farm wife with a “town job”.  I worked full time at a grain co-op and also had a baby at home. I didn’t get to spend much time physically at the farm, especially since our busy seasons at work matched up with the busy seasons on the farm. The time we did get to spend at the farm was usually just to drop off a quick supper or drink. Even though I didn’t put in as many hours at the farm, I still thought of myself as a farm wife. Every evening our conversations consisted of mostly crops, cattle, or rain that was either abundant or lacking. I depended on the farm and had a respect for the certain mystery of what it was that drew my husband to be so devoted to it. Sure, it had been paying the bills, but the amount of time, effort, and money that it took to get there was mind-boggling. Not to mention all of the stories I kept hearing about farmer’s losing everything they had once the wheat prices plummeted. Who wants to have that much weight on their shoulders every day, wondering if you’re going to make enough just to keep the bank at bay for another year? The farm was still something I had to constantly be involved in whether I was in the tractor or in the office. I fully trusted all of my husbands decisions, but he still respected me enough to consult with me about things like major equipment purchases and selling of grain or cattle. I felt like I had an important role. I was a level head over the phone when something went wrong, an optimist when we were going on months without rain, and an accountant constantly running numbers to see where we were at for the year. I wasn’t “just” a farm wife, but that was my favorite role besides being a mom.

That brings me to my current role. Stay at home mom and farm wife. This is the most exhausting, stressful, crazy, and rewarding time of my life. I thought getting to stay home would be a little more relaxed, and I obviously was wrong. I wouldn’t change my life for anything, but after being called “just a farm wife” like it’s a bad thing, I have to laugh. When I first heard that, it broke my heart a little bit and it also made me angry, but they probably just don’t know any better and I won’t hold it against them. I laugh because being just a farm wife is the hardest thing I have ever done and if I didn’t laugh I would probably cry. Yes, a lot of that is due to the fact I have two small children, but I like to think that I contribute to our farm in a huge way. 

Whether it’s making a parts run, spending a few hours in the tractor, feeding cattle, book work, or anything in-between, Jake knows that he can call on me for help and I’ll be there. Even if every once in a while he gets a little grumble because I just got the baby down for nap or supper started. This whole farm gig isn’t a job, or something that you just “do”. It’s a beautiful gift from God to be a steward of his land and animals for a little while and hopefully you work hard enough and do well enough that some day you can pass it on to your children. It’s a family operation and every day there is an opportunity to learn a lesson or see God’s hand at work. I’ve waited up until two in the morning to make sure my husband made it in safe from the field, and I have had newborn calves in my vehicle to get them out of a snowstorm and warmed up in hopes that they will survive. I am so proud of being a farm wife because I know it’s not for the faint of heart. I fail daily and will never be perfect, but I can hold my head high because I know how far I have come from where I started. I have discovered the mystery of the passion and devotion to something that is not guaranteed. It’s because of hope of the future. That future generations can learn the same work ethic, respect, and drive that past generations had and have the same love of the land and animals. I pray that I am just a farm wife for the rest of my life.