For a couple of months I have been thinking really hard about being baptized again. I was baptized when I was younger, but I really don’t even remember it. I do know that I am already saved and have no doubts about where I’m going when I die, but I am doing it more because not only has God laid it heavily on my heart, but also as a symbol that I fully surrender. Anyone who knows me also knows that I surrender to nothing. Remember how I said I was a redhead? I think my husband would rather take on our 1500 pound bull than deal with me when I am mad. I am a stubborn control freak and that’s probably not always the easiest combination to live with.
I think part of our journeys in growing closer with Christ involves constantly growing and stretching ourselves spiritually so that we can get closer to the person God wants us to be. God knows I have a really hard time with letting go and giving up control of anything, so this simple act of being baptized is big for me. I’m giving up control and admitting that I’m helpless without God. It’s hard. My heart knows that he is in control and wants nothing but good for me, but my human ways always seem to creep in when I’m not looking and make me think that I know what’s best for myself and can make decisions on my own.
When I told my dad (also a church elder) that I wanted to be baptized again he asked if I would be willing to talk at church about my reasoning and what it means in hopes to maybe reach some people. I had really been struggling with if I wanted to talk or not because I really didn’t think I had much to say about it. I didn’t want to get up in front of everyone and then the only words to come out of my mouth be something like “Uh, God told me to”. I really hate making a fool of myself and I felt like by getting up there and making myself vulnerable I was setting myself up for failure. Then I started second guessing if I even really should be baptized at all. There were those ways coming back telling me that I could do things myself.
So the other night while doing my bible study I stopped midway through and was talking to my husband about whether or not I should talk and what I could even say that could ever affect anyone in any way. He was encouraging like always but I still wasn’t convinced. Until I looked down. I picked up reading where I had left off and right there in black and white was my answer that I needed.
“Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you – not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but as an appeal to God for a good conscience – through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who is at the right hand of God, having gone into heaven, after angels and authorities and powers had been subjected to Him.”
Literally two seconds after talking about if I really should get baptized let alone speak publicly about it God threw this at me. He let me know the answer I had been searching for and gave me the reminder I needed that I’m not in control and I do need to surrender to him. We serve an awesome God and we aren’t in this alone. He may not always give us our answers this clear but when we are in his word and really praying about any given situation I believe he will always help guide our choices. So tonight friends I pray for us that when we are stuck trying to make a decision, no matter how big or small, that we can lift it up to God to help us know the path we should take.